The Treasurer’s Report

img_41311 The Treasurer of the Unlympics Organizing Committee—this decorated coffee can—has asked me to type a few words on his behalf.

In the hopes of creating a new model for sporty mega-events, we here at the Unlympics have settled upon a system of financial transparency. The idea hasn’t caught on yet, but for a lot of these sports festivals it’s somehow counterintuitive so how it works is like this: we tell you, honestly, how much money the Unlympics costs, and how much money the Unlympics has raised. Then, if you are filled with the Unlympic Spirit, you give us some money, and then, we tell people about it.

To date, the cost of hosting the Unlympics’ mostly free programming has included:

  • $175 in rent
  • $100 in kickballs, sparklers, prizes, medals and trophies
  • $50 in promotional and office supplies
  • $30 in beer and, of course, Gatorade

This comes to a total of $355.

To date, the UOC has raised—mostly from the $5 competitor’s fee to join the Spelling Bee—exactly $214.

Now, we realize that a $141 budget deficit represents a significantly lower-than-average cost overrun ratio for a giant sporty mega-event—in fact, the London 2012 Games are currently estimated to cost more than four times their original budget of 2.37bn pounds, and are now running upwards of 9bn pounds.

However, the great disadvantage we suffer at the Unlympics Organizing Committee is that we have thus far proven unable to find a way to hide our expenditures within the host city’s operating budget. In fact, when UOC secretary AEM tried last week to submit her kickball purchasing receipts in lieu of paying her local taxes, she was practically laughed out of the office! Which is weird, because she’s pretty sure some of that money will go to benefit the Olympic Games in 2016. 

Anyway. To reiterate: If there were a game for being $141 dollars in the hole, the Unlympic Games would take the gold!

If you have enjoyed our programming, received major sponsorship deals due to an Unlympics win, or are a corporate CEO that donated to the Chicago 2016 bid that harbors a nagging sense that, in fact, Olympic Village construction might just sink the city into an economic quagmire from which we may never recover, please consider a small donation of dollars to support the Unlympic Games. If you wish, you may donate online via paypal at:, or email to make an appointment with the UOC Treasurer.

If you run a sports mega-event and wish to seek further information about financial transparency, please first Google the term, and then contact our offices.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: