To Our Beloved Chicago Siblings,
Although our friends in Rio will certainly require our emotional and financial support in the coming seven years—and possibly we’ll be asked to offer housing to thousands of residents likely to be evacuated from their homes to make way for the 2016 Games, but that’s cool, we’ll make room, we owe them—it’s important to take a moment to thank the keepers of the Unlympic Spirit. Without them the Windy City would have signed on today for billions of dollars of debt; massive construction projects for facilities to sit largely unused after their completion, minus the three-week sports party that holds their purpose, of course; and the evacuation of our neighbors from their homes. Not to mention the three weeks, seven years down the road, during which downtown would have been *hell*.
So, thank you, competitors in and fans of the Winter 2009 Unlympiad. May your torch for democracy, non-corporate play, and the concerns and needs of your fellow Chicago citizens always burn bright.